With a name like that, they'll never be the next "GAP"

Q: What's under the root? Soil? Dirt? Rock? Minerals? The Earth?

We may never know the true answer, but I'll bet there was a drug-fueled night of heavy discussion that preceded the creation of this seller's shop.

undertheroot

Girls love cute, matching things!

Blonde Peacock says she's "Inspired by atlases, rummaging through old attics"... me too, I instantly think "underwear pattern" when people pull Aunt Judy's mug collection out for evaluation on Antique Roadshow. Anyway, it doesn't help her case that most of these designs look more like Picasso in his murderous period. Still, there's some seriously nice hip and thigh action happening with this model.

I guess that the model must be either the seller or related to her, because (again) no facey-poo.

BlondePeacock

I'll have a Vodka Glamarita, please.

 With a preoccupation for building outfits out of men's ties that borders on excessive (how many men's ties can you find at a price low enough to make these outfits profitable?), Glamarita also has some cute bang-bedecked models.

Glamarita

More gothy goodness

I had to throw this one up to just fill out that last post. More cute goths in skin-tight outfits, so fun! Yet so serious.

field day

I find this oddly arousing...

Perfect for the fan of pierced, tattooed hippy girls from St. Petersburg (Florida). Are you a fan? You should be. Hippy girls smile during sex, and that's a good thing, believe me.

Whisky Dog Print Shop

With the inclusion of the compulsory elements, she might just be able to pull this off...

This shop specializes in "two-piece figure competition suits", which means that - unlike regular bikinis - these are to be worn by sponsored professionals or competitive amateurs only. If you know any female who sports their swimsuits outside of the competition circuit, they're poseurs, and likely "stuffing".

saleyla

Sometimes more is more!

I like this entry for a couple of reasons, and it all has to do with what it leaves to the imagination. In all of the pictures, for example, you can't see her face. Which means that she will be forever beautiful. Face like Megan Fox or like that hot girl who serves you coffee in the morning at that hippy coffee shop dive your friend dragged you into one day? Yup. Just can't see it. Oh wait, I can see it, in my mind.

She does have some lovely ankles, too.

Cotton Fields

Playful, with words

I like when etsy sellers get creative with names. Besides the fact that you really can tell what's "on the inside" of most of the underwear featured here, I like what she'd done with her product names. In fact, you know you're dealing with a frustrated ad copy writer when you see items like "Forget-me-not Panties" and "Honeysuckle Camisole" listed.

"She was so cute, I can't remember her face or her name, but those panties... oh damn, I cannot forget those panties."

On The Inside Lingerie

Late Night Chocolate Nighties

I'll never fathom why the "Exotic dress of mystery" ever needs to go on sale. There are literally thousands of off-shore gold farmers grinding day and night who will never see one. That's sad. You know what? It's nice that they can see one here. On sale.

Muir Hughes-Repurposed Fashion

Cute Confederate Sympathizers

WARNING: SFW. There is no nudity in this here post. Sad, because the girls here are helluva cute. *sigh oh sigh*

jessjamesjake

Never stop dreaming about those tits

Let me be crass: at this 1AEON place, there are some seriously beautiful sets of jubblies. It must be nice working at a company where you spend your days figuring out different ways of photographing cleavage.

1AEON

Passionate Messages

The graphic below is the banner Angelika actually uses on top of her main etsy store.
Is it me or does this picture look like a shoot from a porno?

... wait, I'll draw it out for you:

With a banner so racy, it's no wonder her shots are so saucy:

maryandangelika
angelinadesign

How can you not love vinyl-clad buttcrack?

Sporting fishnet stockings, ridiculous heels and some nice hi-res closeups, you can't help but wonder "what are they really selling here?". Is it clothing or is it a lifestyle? Their profile says:

"Hello Dolly Latex was founded in 2007 with the aim to produce high quality latex fashions which were not aimed at the fetish market. My designs are about as cute and feminine as you can get."

 Yes, these puppies look like they're well-made and some of them are cute but sorry, "not aimed at the fetish market" is a bald-faced lie. The sole purpose of these outfits are for sexual arousal and fetish play and to assume otherwise is contrary to sane belief.

"Please send in the next job candidate, Miss Hathaway"

"Yes, Mr. Drysdale"

*squeek squeek squeek squeek*

"Oh. Hi, Miss... Miss Dolly is it?... please sit down"

*squeek squeek sqwlark... squak*

"Miss Dolly... are you wearing underwear?" (Mr. Drysdale attempts to hide growing erection in his pants)

And doesn't that picture on the right look a lot like she's pulling some kind of weird dildo out of a pineapple purse? "not aimed at the fetish market" my ass.

hellodollylatex

"Hea-vee Me-he-tal!"

I didn't have a chance to check out "brooksbots" 01 to 74, but I'll bet someone at brooksbot75 has the producers for the live-action version of "Heavy Metal" on speed dial.

brooksbot75